a little goes a long way, grapefruit olive oil cake, brioche and amongst other things

June 28, 2013 § 3 Comments

grapefruit

Another post in three days? I think this must be a personal record. I have not felt like writing so much in a long time. While there has been so many things going on, I can only focus on a few things in my head. Right now, it’s brioche, food writing topics & being honest. I have been obsessed with brioche recipes since we introduced it. The Santa Monica restaurant I used to work in, had the best homemade foolproof recipe which I foolishly left it there. Now I can only recollect memories of the crew helping me knead the buttery dough after it proofed. So I have been researching countless recipes in hope to find the right one.

Lately, I have been exploring the creative side of food writing. Reaching out to different forms of writing style, techniques and topics. Keeping a notebook beside me is much like a best friend listen to your inner thoughts. The most unexpected emotions and moods surface at unruly times, but that is the beauty I find intriguing and keeps me going. Though, I wish it happens more often when I am sitting in front of the computer at six in the morning. It is not the best time to churn out some alphabets before getting ready for work, but a habit I have been wanting to achieve since it’s the only quiet time I have during the day. A clear stream of thoughts reflects the honest self and what is truly important to me.

Of late, it has been trying. While writing silences the sounds in my head and surroundings, I have been facing some hard truth. After looking at the films from my London trip in January, I had realized how much I wanted to start the year with a clean slate. To be treated differently, to be honest with the self, to be kind, to be generous, to stay true and learn. It has not been the same. There were judgements, there were harsh words, there were tough times. Once told that I “shouldn’t be too much of being myself”, I have been trying to project the individual society accepted. Only to realize, how awkward it was and how exhausting it can be.

The very essentials of openness is to accept shame. Shame in any form, like a failed brioche recipe, tried tested tasted and now, moving on. Being fully aware of it, and not being fully afraid of admitting it. It is then, I found the little joys of failing. The hard crusts turn into croutons, old cookies become breakfast dunked in milk for hours, leftover pasta becomes a lunch treat. The unexpected happens.

I had pushed school aside to focus on the surprises. The people, the place and the thoughts. C’est la vie.
Scan 34

The point isn’t to live without any regret. It is to not hate ourselves for having them – Kathryn Schulz.

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