the story one wont tell

May 28, 2015 § Leave a comment

if this is fiction or not fiction, its up to you to decide


At the moment, everything seems to make sense, the little signs, the seemingly laughters and the big changes

There was a shift of focus, i was suffocating the other emotionally, there was no escape in trying to let go of negativity. Instead I captured the heart of it and squeeze the juices dry, so he found a way to run away from this. A new hobby, a new obsession, an excuse to get out from this clouded mind. I don’t blame or can’t point fingers. I mean look at this pathetic soul asking for love and attention, a listening ear and an understanding heart. Who wants it? What is there to appreciate?

So we dive into materials, finding comforts in them along with the company. Whether it was right or wrong, it was new, fresh, and made you feel free.

Priorities changed. Started making time for less meals together, less quality time and more “phones on the table”. The free days together were spent apart, the time spent together was not momentarily happy or spelt love. There wasnt anything in common anymore. Once lovers, now strangers.

“Why wont you allow me to do this or that?”; ” I didnt tell you because you would say this or that”;

Sometimes even enemies when we start yelling at one another and became less patient. Because our priorities changed, “we” was less important and “we” couldnt make either one of us happy.

Emotionally needy/suffocation; independent/interdependent; afraid of confrontation/in need of opening up.

They tried to help us, we tried to help ourselves. But one couldnt help one another or supported each other without making the other feel small. Stubborn. Immature. No more forgiveness or tenderness. No more love left.

Here I am, having to restart the button, ground zero, having nothing, but to pick myself up again and move.


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