life is wonderful

February 8, 2016 § 1 Comment

Remember about two years ago I wrote about how silence is golden? My late cousin has a bookshelf filled with an old collection of good reads since his college days. I shared how we managed to find a little piece of note with a lovely quote inside. A quote that reminded us how to be present to life and experience love?

Of course you don’t, you wouldn’t have known me then.
Or if you did, I probably didn’t share enough of my sorrows.

Today I took two of his books back home: Jack Keroac’s On the Road and Henry David Thoreau’s Walden & Civil Disobedience (and a bottle of half full Nikka Whisky, very important). This time I decided to read up on Jack Keroac’s life before a long indulgence. He dropped out of university, wrote books that were not well-recognized until much later in his life. As much I would not want to believe that all starving artists only get recognised after they have died or moved on with their current disposition, I just could not help myself to think that the first try will always be a hit. We aren’t all Lady Gaga.

Through this entire writing/baking career, I just felt a little discouraged by how my current society or majority communities perceive certain values as unorthodox. We all want the truth but hide behind inconvenience, comfort zones or complexity. How is it that we all want to find peace or awareness and not realise that happiness/sadness must co-exist?

I started writing a book about my travels 5 years ago and have not come close to even finishing it. Somehow, I just couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge that people would want to read about an adolescence psychology student switching her career to culinary; arriving just two days before school started in the big USA for the very first time in her life.

I was the only Asian girl. Walmart was a freeway with 6 lanes away from my motel. I did not know anyone in the country. School ended at 1am everyday. I made friends with ex-military officers and my chefs ran the school like an army. It was quite awesome.

 

It has been a long journey since then. Not long enough to be honest. I always feel that I could do more, write more, learn more before I could publish anything or open a bakery. But who knows?

For now I will keep writing.

To my cousin, who constantly wanted to “go back to the roots and see beyond conventions”…

a simple and sincere account of his own life, and not merely what he has heard of other men’s lives – Henry David Thoreau

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

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