holding the presence

October 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

There have been many aspects of my life that I frequently write about. Bake Anything has always foremost, been about food and the kitchen stories entailed around. Occasionally, there would be experiences of yoga, running or traveling. I have taken this site as a personal journal entry since almost a decade ago and have grown so much since.


Today, I am going to share the present moment. What is the present moment? My present moment is being a student again, practising yoga physically/philosophically, freelance writing and partially take orders at dining tables. I suppose I could go on with the things I do that doesn’t necessary call for definitions. Yet, everytime I come here to share about something not food related, there is a sense of apprehention. But on the other hand, I do want to share.

Baking as we know, is theraputic. It was how I spent my high school years running away from homework; it was how I switched from psychology school to patisserie; right now, its part of my weekly routine. It taught patience, grace, disipline and creativity. These elements could also be applied in yoga. In fact for anyone who is a practisioner would comprehend that it teaches much more than just those. If it is a canvas paper, it will absorb every paint; it is a baking pan, it will mold into any cake; if it is a pot of curry, it will probably be one that is versatile for any spicy level. Yoga has, adamantly, taken a larger part of my daily thoughts than anything else.


The more I practice yoga, the more patient and present one becomes. How do you refine your daily activities as much as you want to improve your posture on the mat? I promise you the day you bring yoga thoughts into your actions, is the day you take yourself out to a nice restaurant and buy yourself a glass of good red. That is just the very begining of owning your own presence on this planet.

I used to practice yoga after service. No matter what time it is, I will unroll my mat and start with 10 sets of sun-salutations. Then depending on my energy level, I will either do more standing postures or let the practice take its time. These routines felt different everyday, routines are not meant to be fixed; they are implaced for one to check-in on yourself. How often do you ask yourself, how are you doing today? I frequently find myself scanning the cells in my blood wondering if they are still filled with vitality or half-baked.

Naturally, I am a go-getter. I start my day and it can go on for hours. I could do trays of cookies and cakes in just two hours. But my energy level depletes quickly and I got very agitated after coffee time. Over the years, I have learnt to conserve this wholesomeness by starting slow and maintaining a constant speed. So I pace it out now….. instead of letting the head take the lead, the whole body is attached and moves along together.

Isn’t it nice when the mind/body/soul are in sync? Not when you feel completely jaded in the head and the body has collapsed ? Or if the heart is filled with excitement and doesn’t let the mind sleep? Learning to realign myself is still a constant journey. A personal act of balancing through awareness and mindfulness.

There is no secret to being a better person. It truly starts from inside and right now. I sit with the unknown much more comfortably then before. I sit with it like I would put butter and sugar together.

Can you honour knowing,
and letting it go?
Can you honour not knowing,
and letting go too?

It can be so challenging wanting to feel safe. At the same time, it is something we strive for because of a fear for the unknown. So why not, just be with vagueness? Let the possibly of anything happen. We are so compelled to be in control, that we end up not having control at all. My favourite analogy is reading a foolproof recipe and watch someone use it; thinking the whole time to myself that the “joke is on you”.


This week’s eats: homemade oatmeal with more, well oatmeal and nut sprinkles; pancakes with oranges; staff lunch spring salad while the sun shines on our faces.


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