December 8, 2017 § Leave a comment
Yoga practice today was quite a revolution. Ever since I joined the Westside yoga, every session has been very insightful. Perhaps it has to do with the current course of my journey, how it has shifted tremendously and is still evolving.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.
I have read this quote multiple times and like any empowering words they mean something different when you revisit them. I have finally moved into a new apartment, and enjoying the silence. While rejoicing in the new found freedom to dance with, there is a different side of loneliness. The quiet space is now filled with silences but with time I have come to enjoy the nature of it all. The birds wake up way too early for my liking, I can hear the neighbours going in and out of their apartments, I make my meals for solely myself and while I was so used to making it for my family back at home. It is a meal for one everyday. The experiment is nothing less than creative and adventurous but also deeply gratifying. I have a big jar of kombucha fermentation by the kitchen window and a sauerkraut recipe waiting to test out. Another responsibility I have come to adhere to is DIY light fixing. How can one know the differences of E22/B27 or warm light, bright white or LED? Also, I have bought some plants to keep me company. While I am not sure how long they will enjoy my presence but inviting them to the new home has been nothing shy of joy. I would say this is exceptionally so when I wake up in the morning and see the little green leaves face catching the first rays of sunlight.
This year, I have learnt to grow more graciously independent. What does that even mean? To be gracious to yourself while trying be on your own and in good company. Over the years, failed relationships have made it difficult to rely on the right people. Some might say, well perhaps you just haven’t found the right one to depend on. I would agree but also realised that you are essentially responsible for your own happiness/well-being. Being taken care of is such a luxury that not everyone can have, but also to take care of others is another privilege one shall not take for granted. How many times have I wished to have closer family members to cook for and listen to their problems. At the same time wish someone would just sit and listen to me. Yet, this constant ebb and flow settles quietly like the waves on a shore. You watch the tide come and go, enjoying the swiftness of the water and listening to the ripples as they grasp one another.
I have graciously learnt to let go of depending on others for happiness and am cultivating a gentle lifestyle. First step to finding love, don’t. It is already in you. Don’t wait for anything to happen or until it is ready, you will perhaps wait for your whole life. Now, let go of whatever that does not serve you any purpose.
Oh yes, and if all else fails, find friends who laugh over silly matters, shares vegan pizza and hide in pubs while waiting for the rain to pass.